Decisions, decisions...

Ever get stuck trying to come to a decision about something? Perhaps you know the feeling... a knot in the pit of your stomach... maybe a stress headache as well. If it's a really major decision, it can feel almost as if you're paralysed. So what do you do to break the impasse? This week I'd like to share a few simple strategies, to add to your toolkit, that you can use in those stuck situations.


Do I need to make a decision right now?
The first thing to do is not to force yourself to reach a decision immediately, even if it's an important one. Often it's putting too much pressure on yourself that can make you freeze up. So give yourself some breathing space - literally. Get up and walk away for a minute, have a stretch, take a few deep breaths... Simply shifting your energy like this can sometimes be enough to break a brainlock and allow your intuition to come into play.

Come back to your decision again when you're feeling more relaxed - you may be surprised at how differently you feel about it and how much easier it is to work through to a solution.

Is it a yes or no decision?
It may be that just making a decision to go one way or the other is the best course of action. It may not matter which choice you make - by making a choice, you start to build momentum for yourself again, and then you can work out as you go how you might be able to do it better. Follow the maxim:

Do it... then fix it.

If it's a simple yes or no decision, you can always toss a coin (heads for yes, tails for no); use a pendulum (swinging backwards and forwards for yes, left to right for no); or some other aid that works for you. This mighn't seem like a rational way to make a decision - and that's the point. Sometimes you need to let your head step out of the way and allow your intuition to guide you.

How do I really feel about this decision?
Your body is a great communicator, so enlist its help with making your decision. Take a moment to relax and centre yourself. Now think about one possible outcome of your decision - imagine as vividly as you can that this is the choice that you've made. How does this feel? Does it feel good? Does your body feel warm or loose or comfortable? Or does it feel bad? Does your body feel cold or tight or uncomfortable?

Go through this process for each possible choice you could make with this decision. Then follow your instincts as to which choice feels like the best one for you - the one that feels aligned and in flow for you.

Do I need to release my fear?
Suppose you've made a decision that you do want to take action to move towards a particular goal. But what if you're still hesitating about it? Sit down, take a deep breath, and be as honest as you can with yourself about what you're feeling. Are you experiencing resistance because of fear (eg fear of failure, fear of making a fool of yourself, fear of success, fear of change)?

If so, gently acknowledge that this is the case. Then remind yourself about the definition you can use to combat fear:

FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real

If you need to, go back over my post titled "Moving past fear" (from November 2006), which goes through in more detail how to deal with fear. Ask yourself: How real is this fear that I'm experiencing? What can I do to take the energy out of it and let it go?

Am I really ready to change?
OK, so you've dealt with the fear aspect. If you're still not quite there yet, there's another exercise you can try...

Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. Label the left-hand column 'NO CHANGE'. Then write down what you could expect to happen in your life if you do not make this change - be detailed and truthful. Include how you will feel if you don't make the change.

Label the right-hand column 'CHANGE'. Then write down what you could expect to happen in your life if you do make this change, including how you will feel when you have achieved your goal.

Now look back over your two lists. Usually, the positives in the 'CHANGE' column will outweigh any negatives in the 'NO CHANGE' column. If this is the case, then you've just given yourself some compelling motivation to move forward with your decision.

If not, then acknowledge for yourself that perhaps now is not the right time for this. Try shelving the decision for a while and allow yourself to have a bit more time to sit with it. Set a time to come back to consider it again (eg in a day, a week or a month) and then repeat the process. Chances are that something will have shifted for you by then, and you'll be able to work through to a resolution.

Be gentle...
Remember, above all, to be gentle with yourself, rather than placing on tons of pressure. You will find that you make the best decisions when your focus is present in the moment, without being held too tightly. Everyone is different, so explore these different strategies and find the one that works for you... And happy decision making!