The Soul Connector

The Soul Connector

Reflections and tips on connecting with your soul, understanding the messages from your inner guidance, and enjoying a soul-fully rich and fabulous life...

28 March, 2007

Decisions, decisions...

Ever get stuck trying to come to a decision about something? Perhaps you know the feeling... a knot in the pit of your stomach... maybe a stress headache as well. If it's a really major decision, it can feel almost as if you're paralysed. So what do you do to break the impasse? This week I'd like to share a few simple strategies, to add to your toolkit, that you can use in those stuck situations.


Do I need to make a decision right now?
The first thing to do is not to force yourself to reach a decision immediately, even if it's an important one. Often it's putting too much pressure on yourself that can make you freeze up. So give yourself some breathing space - literally. Get up and walk away for a minute, have a stretch, take a few deep breaths... Simply shifting your energy like this can sometimes be enough to break a brainlock and allow your intuition to come into play.

Come back to your decision again when you're feeling more relaxed - you may be surprised at how differently you feel about it and how much easier it is to work through to a solution.

Is it a yes or no decision?
It may be that just making a decision to go one way or the other is the best course of action. It may not matter which choice you make - by making a choice, you start to build momentum for yourself again, and then you can work out as you go how you might be able to do it better. Follow the maxim:
Do it... then fix it.
If it's a simple yes or no decision, you can always toss a coin (heads for yes, tails for no); use a pendulum (swinging backwards and forwards for yes, left to right for no); or some other aid that works for you. This mighn't seem like a rational way to make a decision - and that's the point. Sometimes you need to let your head step out of the way and allow your intuition to guide you.

How do I really feel about this decision?
Your body is a great communicator, so enlist its help with making your decision. Take a moment to relax and centre yourself. Now think about one possible outcome of your decision - imagine as vividly as you can that this is the choice that you've made. How does this feel? Does it feel good? Does your body feel warm or loose or comfortable? Or does it feel bad? Does your body feel cold or tight or uncomfortable?

Go through this process for each possible choice you could make with this decision. Then follow your instincts as to which choice feels like the best one for you - the one that feels aligned and in flow for you.

Do I need to release my fear?
Suppose you've made a decision that you do want to take action to move towards a particular goal. But what if you're still hesitating about it? Sit down, take a deep breath, and be as honest as you can with yourself about what you're feeling. Are you experiencing resistance because of fear (eg fear of failure, fear of making a fool of yourself, fear of success, fear of change)?

If so, gently acknowledge that this is the case. Then remind yourself about the definition you can use to combat fear:
FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real
If you need to, go back over my post titled "Moving past fear" (from November 2006), which goes through in more detail how to deal with fear. Ask yourself: How real is this fear that I'm experiencing? What can I do to take the energy out of it and let it go?

Am I really ready to change?
OK, so you've dealt with the fear aspect. If you're still not quite there yet, there's another exercise you can try...

Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. Label the left-hand column 'NO CHANGE'. Then write down what you could expect to happen in your life if you do not make this change - be detailed and truthful. Include how you will feel if you don't make the change.

Label the right-hand column 'CHANGE'. Then write down what you could expect to happen in your life if you do make this change, including how you will feel when you have achieved your goal.

Now look back over your two lists. Usually, the positives in the 'CHANGE' column will outweigh any negatives in the 'NO CHANGE' column. If this is the case, then you've just given yourself some compelling motivation to move forward with your decision.

If not, then acknowledge for yourself that perhaps now is not the right time for this. Try shelving the decision for a while and allow yourself to have a bit more time to sit with it. Set a time to come back to consider it again (eg in a day, a week or a month) and then repeat the process. Chances are that something will have shifted for you by then, and you'll be able to work through to a resolution.

Be gentle...
Remember, above all, to be gentle with yourself, rather than placing on tons of pressure. You will find that you make the best decisions when your focus is present in the moment, without being held too tightly. Everyone is different, so explore these different strategies and find the one that works for you... And happy decision making!

20 March, 2007

The first day


I've just been listening to a Crowded House song (written by Neil Finn and Tim Finn), "All I Ask", which seems very apt:
"All I ask
is to live each moment
free from the last..."
A beautifully simple way of expressing what is really a profound concept...



I'm sure you've experienced the feeling of carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders - I think everyone has days like that. An accumulation of "stuff" from the past. When, of course, you don't need to be doing that! In truth, each moment is a fresh start. And if you choose to treat it as such, then you give yourself the opportunity to move through your daily life feeling much lighter and unencumbered.

So how do you do that? Well, there's a saying: "live each day as if it's your last", which is a way of reminding you to focus in on what really matters. But what if you were to try living each day as if it's your FIRST? Think about that for a moment... How would doing this affect how you approach all your daily activities? What might you do differently, if you looked at it with fresh eyes? What might you appreciate more, that you usually take for granted?

Why not try this for yourself, when you get up tomorrow? For me, it actually feels very liberating! I make a conscious effort to do this from time to time, just paying attention to what comes up for me on the day. Often it's the little things that strike me the most - what I usually barely even notice when I'm rushing around...

Things like... the colour and shape of a perfect pink rose in my garden... the fragrance and taste of a crisp green apple... a smile and wave from the elderly woman who lives down the street... the warmth of the sun on my face as I sit at a cafe drinking my morning coffee. The simple joy and beauty of everyday life.

Changing your life doesn't have to be about attracting in a whole lot of new things, or even doing things radically differently. It's about valuing what you do have and allowing the flow of life in - which is brimming with sweetness and magic, if you but open your eyes to see it...

10 March, 2007

Being in balance


One of my clients posed a really good question this week:
"What does it actually mean to be in balance? Can you truly achieve that in your life, or is it just something you kind of aspire to get to?"
So let's explore this today...




I've noticed that, initially, many people are a bit resistant to the notion of balance. And rightfully so. This is because balance is usually perceived as being about reaching a state of equilibrium - a static state - and so, realistically, how can you create that in the midst of the ebb and flow of life? How can you grow, when you're staying the same?

In reality, balance is a dynamic process which, when you understand how it works, IS something you can make work for you in your own life. I had a vivid dream a few nights ago that struck me as a great way of illustrating this principle. In my dream I was a fabulous skateboarder - in reality, I've never even set foot on a skateboard but, hey, you can do anything you wish in dreams, can't you?

In the dream, the feeling of riding the skateboard was absolutely exhilarating - a feeling of oneness and of being in tune with a powerful flow of energy. I've sure you've seen really talented skateboarders in action - they're very focused, yet they have an air of ease and centredness about them, making even the most difficult manoevres look effortless.

And, of course, they are in perfect balance - while being in perpetual motion. So, with that image in mind, how does this translate to your life? Looked at this way, balance is the complete opposite of being in some kind of motionless, unchanging state, isn't it?

Let's look more closely at those two words I used to describe great skateboarders - ease and centredness - because they provide the keys to feeling balanced. Life balance is about finding your centre in the midst of the ups and downs of the various aspects of your life, and the external forces of the environment around you.

But this doesn't have to feel like a struggle... Picture, for a moment, that your life is like a big arena, with the different domains of activity (eg work, home, relationships, money, health, creativity, spirituality) laid out on the ground in sectors, like the spokes within a wheel. Know that you're the master of this domain. Imagine that you are the fabulous skateboarder here, who is able to effortlessly move around the arena.

Picture this in your mind and feel how easily you are able to flow from one aspect of your life to another - and how much fun it is to be focused on where you are, yet remain relaxed. You choose which aspect of your life you wish to place your focus on at this moment in time. And there's no need to be everywhere at once, is there? Allow yourself to feel your natural oneness with the environment and the universe around you... Experience the flow of energy within you and around you, and know that this is your true state of being...

So... next time you're feeling stressed and unbalanced in your daily life, remind yourself of this feeling of ease and oneness. Bring your attention back to where you are right now and reconnect with that master rider within who will always know the right direction to take to get you where you need to go...

01 March, 2007

Spiral Books & Gifts open!


A departure from my usual blog this week, but I wanted to share some great news... I'm really pleased to be able to tell you that Spiral, A Spiritual Sanctuary, is now officially open!

Originally founded in the 1970s, Spiral Books & Gifts is fondly remembered by many as one of Melbourne's best New Age bookstores. As you may know, Spiral now has a new owner and has relocated to 487 Malvern Road, Toorak.


The shop is open 7 days a week and stocks a wonderful range of metaphysical and self-help books, as well as oils, herbs, candles, tarot decks, crystals, jewellery, CDs and gift items.

The Spiral centre also offers healing and massage, clairvoyant/tarot readings and spiritual life coaching, and includes a gallery/workshop space featuring a dynamic calendar of courses and events.

I will be there on Fridays and Saturdays for coaching sessions and workshops. Phone (03) 9826 1164 for bookings or just call in to say hello and have a browse. I'd be delighted to see you!

For those of you from further afield, an online shop is currently under construction, so I'll keep you posted on the details...